Jumper

Miesh James

"HA where was the story line?...well it appears there wasn't one. just Hayden Christensen and his many homes, weird places to sunbathe and a random jolly to london, where it was unimaginatively raining. what was the purpose of his 'girlfriend'? she just pissed me off."

All that needs to be said

'Lick the Star' – (Dir. Sofia Coppola)

‘Lick the Star’ is a 14 minute short film, shot on 16mm in black and white. Being the first film 'Sofia Coppola' has both written and directed, we start to see the clear minimal style reminiscent in her later works ‘Lost in Translation’ and ‘The Virgin Suicides’ emerging.

The story, based in a typical American high school, revolves around a group of 4 ‘popular’ girls and their leader ‘Chloe’, the ‘queen of 7^th grade’. Partially narrated and pictured from the point of view of the more passive ‘Kate’; the story unfolds about how the girls plan to slowly poison the boys at their school with Arsenic (rat poison).

‘Lick the Stars’, brief though it may be, has the power to bring up nightmarish childhood school memories, regardless of gender. It deals with the playground politics present during early teen hood and leaves you itching for the almighty hammer of justice to come crashing down.

Amidst the black and white imagery, sparse dialogue and the angry female grunge soundtrack, the tables begin to turn towards the end as the bully becomes the bullied, and with the films closing credits, don’t be surprised if a wave of satisfaction caresses your body from head to toe. Full of fickle characters you’d love to hate, with a bleak, grungy Americana backdrop; this is worth a watch if you’ve seen and enjoyed Coppola’s other work. If not, it’s a good place to start as it’s so short.

Soundtrack includes: The Amps, The Go-Gos and Kim Gordon.
Running time - 14 min
Year - 1998
Link: PT1 - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cn6W65Nq5FQ
PT2 - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i2jjIyweXE4

Die Laughing Writer/Editor/Reviewer – Joe Greig

'Night At The Museum' - (Dir. Shawn Levy)

Night at the Museum brings Milan Trenc’s book of the same name to life, quite literally. Featuring an all-star cast, as well as two of England’s most prized comedians: Ricky Gervais and Steve Coogan, getting in on the act, Night at the Museum already comes full of expectations which it delivers...to an extent. The best appearances come from Owen Wilson, Coogan and Gervais while Stiller takes his “serious while goofy” role made famous in Meet the Parents.

Stiller plays a single dad working to gain his son’s respect, while in contest to Anchorman’s Phill Rudd as the successful step-dad, by taking on a position at the local museum. To Stiller’s surprise however, he’s been given the role as night watchman with a twist...at night the museum comes alive!

The true stars of this movie though were actually the two comedians from our very own Britain. Gervais plays the hard-nosed owner of the museum, who at times is reminiscent of his David Brent character from The Office while Coogan’s portrayal as a tiny Roman emperor figurine teams up brilliantly with Wilson who, as the leading cowboy, provides some relief from the sterile family-friendly humour which this film sometimes suffers with.

As a family action comedy, this film does moderately well but the cast is forced to provide the momentum by displaying their own individual style of comedy; often to greater effect than the gags scripted by the studio. Luckily

this review is late because I wouldn’t recommend wasting good money on going to the cinema to see this film but maybe I can stop you from renting it as Night at the Museum is only worth waiting for an accidental watch on T.V.

Laughs for all the family, but you won’t be laughing all at the same time.

Soundtrack includes: Fatboy Slim, Earth Wind and Fire, McFly

Running Time -108 mins

year - 2006

Die Laughing Reviewer Thomas Rogers

Edited by William Hensher (The best he could)

'Sin City' - (Dir. Robert Roriguez, Frank Miller plus guest dir. Quentin Tarintino)

2005’s Sin City would have to be one of Die Laughing’s favourite movies. It’s frickin’ awesome! Three directors: Frank Miller, Robert Rodriguez and Quentin Tarantino (rumoured to have guest directed for one day for only a dollar) take Miller’s own series of comics to the big screen. Unlike other comic book adaptations (Batman/Spider-man/Fantastic Four) which, because of studio rights, change the stories cherished by fans of the comic-books, Sin City intertwines three different original Miller stories whilst remaining true to their printed source.

The film consists of four stories following the parallel theme of each protagonist’s conception of justice. The first follows Bruce Willis saving a young girl named Nancy, later played by the beautiful Jessica Alba, from a powerful paedophile, but before the story ends another follows. Mickey Rourke plays a tough gladiator of an ex-con fighting for the only woman he’s ever loved and runs up against the most powerful vicar in Basin City and his silent yet deadly assassin Kevin, played by Elijah Wood perfectly, no words said, no words needed. The other main story line is not as strong as these two but still works well as the girls of old town run into more trouble than they asked for when Clive Owen comes knocking.

The stories are so powerful because they all full of what we love from noir: anti- heroes, beautiful femme fatales, deception, bad guys who should be good guys. Sin City has you gripping your seat, taking neo-noir to the next level. This film is more of a direct translation from print to film than an adaptation. The graphics are original, having strong colours against a black and white film with the most noticeable being Yellow Bastard. The cultish dialogue comes straight from the comic; it’s highly wrought, with instant one-liner potential between friends. The score and the acting seethes with spine-shivering melodrama, making you wanna scream that a comic-book adaptation can be this good whilst dodging the cheesiness frequently associated with the genre.

Sin City is a must-watch for anyone that likes film with a dark edge. Sometimes it’s hard to watch but it’s done well, really well. Frank Miller and Co, you can die laughing because as your character, played by Mickey Rourke, Merv says: “I can die laughing if I do this one thing right”.

Soundtrack Includes: Robert Rodriguez, Graeme Revell, John Debney

Running Time - 124 mins / USA 147 mins (directors cut)

Year - 2005

Die Laughing Reviewer... Thomas Rogers

Edited by William Hensher

'I Am Legend' - (Dir. Francis Lawrence)

I AM LEGEND is the new Warner Brothers Sci-fi/Action/Thriller, starring Will Smith. It's around the year 2011, four years previously a cure for cancer has been discovered and patterned into a vaccine. All goes smoothly and every one lives happily ever after…WRONG. The vaccine becomes hazardous to a huge percentage of the world’s population and to make matters worse it becomes air born, thus turning innocent people into blood thirsty, primeval thinking creatures called ‘Dark Seekers’. So we join Will Smith’s character ‘Robert Neville’ four years ahead from the virus turning bad, in an apparently deserted New York, battling with his own sanity, keeping himself occupied and alive; while desperately trying to find a cure for the virus.

This movie certainly did it for me and does what a good sci-fi thriller is meant to do; it kept me gripping to the arms of the cinema seat while also keeping me thinking: is he the last man on earth? Is there any real hope for a cure? And most importantly what’s going to happen next? I think in recent cinema history, the American studios have lost the edge for telling a truly interesting and intriguing sci-fi story without alienating the audience with complex storylines, gallons of fake blood, severed limbs and over-the-top CGI. Not saying that this film doesn’t use any of these things but it uses them to its advantage without using too much severed limbs and blood, I’m not reviewing a hostel here. As well as the film being nail-bitingly suspenseful, it is also a powerful tale of loss, loneliness, guilt and fate. There are some scenes in this movie that are genuinely moving and it provokes the question: ‘how would I react in that situation?’ With the back-drop of a long- desolate New York, this film certainly points in the right direction.

Unfortunately the film has a lot of down points and they hit home quickly after the film is finished. Being based on the 1954 book ‘I am legend’ written by Richard Matheson, the movie flutters off into different areas which, unlike the book, leave you with many floating questions. Though Will Smith brings a quirky, humorous edge to the character of Robert Neville you do get the undying feeling that he struggles with the one man stands alone cast/plot. The film repeatedly beats into our brains the fact that Robert is completely alone, this can get tiresome and some scenes feel repetitive.

If you are a fan of the book series then this movie probably won’t do much for you and will seem very distant from Richard Matheson’s apocalyptic tale. The movie does push things by a hefty two & a half hours of screen time which is mostly filled by Will Smith, his trusty dog and a deserted, shrub overtaken New York “we know he’s meant to be the last man on earth, now… KICK SOME ASS!!!”

Otherwise, if you’re just looking for a good new age sci-fi and happen to be a fan of Will Smith, then this one is for you. There are some amazing scenes in this film, at times I touched cloth, real poop your pants suspense and with the aid of ex Faith no more vocalist Mike Paton, voicing the ‘Dark Seekers’ there are some really good monster versus man scenes. There is need for a sequel though to round off all the loose ends.

Soundtrack Includes: Kumito, Bob Marley

Running Time - 101 mins

year - 2007

By Die Laughing Reviewer Joe Poole

Edited by William Hensher

The Beginning of Die Laughing Reviews

It's the start of a new year and that means the start of a new batch of films. Last year we saw a list of eagerly awaited blockbusters like Transformers, Die Hard 4.0, The Bourne Ultimatum, Oceans 13 as well as the long awaited Simpson's Movie.

Luckily, the movies of 2008 look like they're gonna be just as good as the previous year. Big names coming to our screens include: New Indiana flick Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull, Iron Man, Star Trek, James Bond 22 and Die Laughing Reviews most eagerly awaited, trying not to get so excited that we do the shameful act of downloading an illegal copy...

The Dark Knight, sequel to Batman Begins, comes to the big screen with Brokeback Mountain's Heath Ledger as the Joker.

Finally, we are promised of a new and improved The Incredible Hulk with Edward Norton trying to lay some new rules on the emerald giant's films. Rule number one: You do not talk about the Ang Lee version of The Hulk. Rule number two: You DO NOT talk about the Ang Lee version of The Hulk

Much regards from Die Laughing Reviews, which currently consists of Joe Poole and me, Thomas Rogers. Hope to see more of you soon for reviews of old and new movies.

Thomas Rogers

Edited by William Hensher